Why I Am Not a Meteorologist

I think that might possibly be the worst career choice possible: I take the weather so personally. Right now, for example, the weather is taunting me. It is sunny, and gorgeous, and warm (as in I don't have to wear my winter jacket while I'm exercising) and the flowers are in bloom and it is springlike and wonderful, and my soul is lapping it up like springtime manna, or whatever the appropriate metaphor would be. And I can see God in the background going, "heh. You like this, puny human? You think this is just awesome, don't you? Think it's great, being able to go outside in sunglasses and a light sweater. Think your problems are over, think spring's here and you'll be able to deal with your life and keep your room clean and exercise regularly and be happy. You totally think that, don't lie. Well, guess what! It's MARCH! This shit won't last! I could take it away at any moment! You're going to relax your guard, just like you do at the top of Drop Zone or whatever that ride is called, and then I'm going to bring back the rain and send your psyche plummeting into emotional apathy and ruin." (This is God from the Old Testament, obviously.) So I think, if I were a meteorologist, and both saw it coming and took it personally, I would lose all will to live.