Stagefall

Dude, you guys. I can't walk.

Oh, don't freak. I'm not in a wheel chair. But I am bruised, sore, and blistered, and taking weight onto my right leg, or lying down on my right side, hurts like a bitch.

It is this way. We have re-choreographed a bit of blocking for the show. Specifically, the part where I keel over and faint. Before, I had someone catching me. Now I fall down on my own.

This means, of course, that I had to learn to stage fall. The definition of stage fall is supposed to be how to fall and not hurt yourself. I beg to differ.

Ever done a knee bend? Do one now. I'll wait. You just plant your feet solid on the floor, and bend your knees, dropping into a crouch, and then come back up again, without using your hands. No big deal, right? You might hear some strange popping noises from your knees, but eh, it's not bad.

Great. Now do a one-legged knee bend. That's right, the same thing, except you have to do it with all your weight on one leg. Got it? Fantastic. Now do two dozen of those, and every time you make it to your knees, slap the side of your ribcage and the side of your ass as hard as you possibly can. Sounds like fun, no?

This was yesterday, that I learned to do this. So the right half of me feels like it's been skiing all day, and I mean the aches and pains I got when I was first learning how, plus the big bruise on my ass and the smaller bruise on my ribcage. My left side is all "... huh?" And my cute new shoes that I just got that are adorable have not been broken in yet, and I found out today when I wore them for the first time that they pinch my littlest toes. On both feet, but especially on my right.

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch. (My director's reaction: "Good, okay. Practice, but don't practice too much.")